Truly. Too many parents hear the words “baby has colic”, “it’s normal”, baby will grow out of it” or phrases to that extent. And are sent home. Apparently “reassured” that it is normal. That the high-pitched screaming of their tiny infant is somehow normal. That inconsolable crying is normal. That still not being able to settle or sleep peacefully by the age of 8 months is normal.

Here is Episode 2 of “Honestly Parenting” Blog – Coping with pregnancy and terrible twos. Be sure to give yourself some time to watch this one, whether it be with your feet up and a cuppa one evening or whilst doing some household chores. So much happened this trimester, and I didn’t want to cut any of it out.

Never did I think after a relatively straightforward pregnancy first time around, would I  experience anxiety during my second one. I was not aware that the experience of having a pre term baby affected me at all, until I hit the second trimester in this subsequent pregnancy.

In honor of  #NICUawarenessmonth, we asked NICU Mum Vicki Cockerill to come and write a guest piece for us. Here is her story...

One of the most common struggles I hear from sleep deprived mums is that they feel low, fed up and anxious. When parents share this with me, I know exactly how they feel because I have been there when my former sleep thief was constantly waking every night for nearly a year.

Since I have started on this journey to becoming a Sleep Consultant, I have come across hundreds of myths that are associated with early childhood sleep. Part of me can totally understand these misconceptions because before I experienced sleep coaching both as a parent with a sleepless 

Exhausted, desperate and ready to give up, best explains how I felt when Oliver was 6 months old, “Why are all my friends babies napping for 3 hours a day and only up once or not at all during the night?” A question I used to ask myself daily. Oliver was refusing naps all day and awake every 60-90 minutes through the night. 

If you are anything like me, pre child holidays involved relaxing, exploring, sunbathing, sipping cocktails and basically doing everything you wanted when you would like to. So our first trip away with Oliver was a huge shock, in fact it was actually very stressful! Which is the opposite experience that hubby and I were going for, we were looking for more of a break from busy parenting life. Silly us!

I do chuckle looking back at my pre child self, I had no idea how the sleep deprivation was going to hit me. Before becoming a parent, I used to say to my business friends with kids, “Can’t you just do your business mindset in the middle of the night to make the best use of your time”? or “Why don’t you just work every night when the kids are in bed?”. Now I know why they laughed at me!

I am genuinely envious of those mum's who experience no sickness or queasiness during their pregnancy. When I was pregnant with our first Oliver, I think in hindsight I had Hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness), as I could not keep water or food down until week 17. I remember just opening an eye whilst laying in dark room and I was instantly sick. I couldn't get in a car, in fact I couldn't leave my bed. 

Parenting was a struggle for me. Just getting my children off to school in the morning and to sleep at night was a battle. I was stuck on parenting ‘autopilot,’ going through the motions and dragged down by guilt and overwhelmed.

When I initially considered hiring as sleep expert, my husband’s first reaction was “We do not have the money to spend on that”. Oh the irony, knowing what I do now! Three months later, Oliver’s (and our) sleep had not improved, in fact it was getting worse. It wasn’t just the lack of the sleep, life felt like it was crumbling around us.

If like many of us, you are a busy working mum, you probably haven’t had time to think about Valentine’s Day yet. Quite honestly, to me it’s just the same as any other day, except that you are encouraged to declare your love for your partner.

Having children doesn’t mean your love life has to end. When you bring a child into the world it’s the most amazing time, but also the most difficult. There are hormones raging, your boobs sag, you gain stretch marks and you now have a muffin top. You no longer feel sexy, attractive and sometimes you feel unwanted.

You may have seen the BBC article published yesterday, “13 Weird Ways parents get their children to sleep”. I wasn’t at all surprised that pre sleep consultancy days I had tried three of these.

I was the heaviest I have ever been when I was severely sleep deprived. Clearly one of those times I had grown a human, but even after Oliver arrived, it was no coincidence that my diet was terrible for the 10 months when he wasn’t sleeping.

This month I am bringing you something a bit different. With just 24 days until Christmas, I know most parents are feeling the financial stress and pressure of buying Christmas presents for their children, family and friends.

It was at the beginning of December last year that I was close to breaking point. I was already feeling exhausted, low and unwell so the pressure of the busy festive period made me feel the only way I could be happy was to do what everyone else was doing; drinking, socialising and basically spending energy I didn’t have.

So today I met up with a close friend and we got onto the topic of my business. The first question she asked me was “so how does it work, do parents have to leave their babies to cry in order to get them to sleep?”

Why is it when you are pregnant that there are so many classes on how to cope with childbirth yet absolutely nothing covers how to cope with and manage sleep deprivation? I’ve often caught myself saying “Nothing prepares you for the sleep deprivation” although looking back if there was a class that equipped me with all the tools