How to survive the sleepless nights
How much determination and drive do you have when you are absolutely exhausted from sleep deprivation? I know that right now you are struggling to keep your head above water.
You are trying to run a household, keep yourself together, maintain relationships with loved ones, taking care of your other children as well as possibly having a career or running a business. You are spinning multiple plates, whilst running on empty.
You are expecting yourself to be running on 100% phone battery, when actually you have 0% left to give everything. What would happen if you had the opportunity to recharge the battery? How much more time and energy could you give to every area of your life?
Parenting today is very different to parenting 40 years ago. That doesn’t mean the challenges were easier 40 years ago, it just means it is different.
Today’s parenting does not typically include the support of the village and community to help raise your baby or children. Some parents do not even live near their families this coupled with the loss of the village leaves a big void in terms of the support network that modern parents need to thrive.
Women are more likely to return to work today, so the pressure to improve a child’s sleep is suddenly increased due to the work life dynamics.
Men are needing to be hands on with parenting, which is a huge change that maybe they haven’t been “taught” or supported to do.
On the top of that women’s self care is evidenced to improve emotional wellbeing and mental health, so there is an encouragement for women to have time for themselves.
Yet, sleep deprivation is mostly an unavoidable part of being a parent.
Here are my top 5 tips on how to survive the sleepless nights
Sleep
Nap if you are lucky enough to have the opportunity to. If you struggle to nap, try resting or listening to a mindfulness meditation whilst your baby sleeps.
Ask friends or family to look after the baby and/or other siblings so that you can take a nap
If someone is taking care of your child or children so you can nap, use ear plugs so that you can zone out from background noise.
If you have a partner, split or share the night or nights so that one of you can get an undisturbed block of sleep. This can be done whether you are breast or formula feeding as your partner can wake you up to feed.
Outsource
Start by writing a list of all your daily and weekly tasks that you do, these can include non negotiables (nursery/school drop offs, food shopping) to negotiables (meeting a friend for a coffee, playdates etc). Ask yourself how many of them do you need to do yourself.
The aim here is to let go of tasks so that you can free up time and energy, two things that you are currently struggling to find.
Most of my clients outsource tasks such as cleaning, ironing, childcare, gardening, childcare drop offs/collections and house maintenance. This maybe to kind friends and family or paid services.
I hear you say, but I just cannot afford to do that. My challenge for you, is to ask yourself but how can I make this happen? Again, most of my clients consider compromises in terms of expenditure or selling items secondhand to free up funds
Meals
Meal plan all of your meals and snacks for 7 days in advance
Batch cook meals for the freezer
Use the slow cooker, put dinner on to cook in the morning
Make double quantities so that you can eat leftovers
Use a meal box subscription service just for a few evenings a week
Ask friends/family members to make food for you.
Prioritise
I’m asking you to make your self-care your number 1 priority, or at least as high as your children’s. This is a tricky one for most parents because you are wired to put everyone’s needs before yours. There are three main basic human needs that must come before anything on your to do list; water, sleep and food.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by a never ending to do list, firstly make sure you have eaten nutritious food, drank plenty of water and taken the opportunity to sleepwhenever possible. This helps you see the list with clarity rather than operating from panic and fear, which makes you feel like everything is out of control.
Work with a Sleep Coach
A Gentle and Holistic Sleep Coach like myself is there to support you through the darkest sleep deprived times as well as give you the tools and strategies to improve your child’s sleep proactively. It is a process that can help and support you to improve your child’s sleep rather than spending hours on the internet finding contradicting advice and going around in circles.
There are my 3 top tips on how to survive your sleep deprivation.
